I know that someday I will die, became ashes in time... But until then I want to see something in this world and find out... To make the world possible... Changed..
My letter is a letter to myself, to my parents ... and perhaps to those who have ever seen a lot of nights on a worthless and unnecessary opening day, in galleries between glass windows, like a mannequin in a shop window ... A glass of wine went and it seemed to you that there the sea rages, that it hides in itself thousands of fish that sparkle in bright light ...
Probably, later I will be fat or thin ... Sometimes I lost weight ... In four months I lost more than 12 kilograms and this is not because I was losing weight on purpose, it’s just that events happened in my life that changed my life .. At one of the vernissages, I lost consciousness and, like a person who tried to fly, flew several flights of stone old gray stairs, didn’t break anything, but the only thing that appeared on my face in the morning was a bluish-violet bruise, big like a fish, from it blurred under the very eye . I looked like a boxer and my head
seemed to be stuffed with dust and all sorts of things ... I must have looked funny.
It was winter and it was slippery outside, so I could well say that I fell on a completely flat sidewalk, the cleaning service was just to blame for everything.
So I began to write down my thoughts ... After writing stories. I always wrote from, but I didn’t show it to anyone and didn’t publish it. When you live in a space where denying your own life is key, you are forgiving yourself and cocooning yourself out of doubt. Haruki Murakami has a story where a heavenly cocoon and two moons are mentioned, something like a parallel world, only this is a different reality...
After that, I somehow changed something, or someone, by chance, wanted to change me. I do not know everything, probably because I do not need it. I am writing this letter as a memory ... Perhaps soon I will change again and go somewhere, I will speak another language and begin to make large canvases on huge skyscrapers ...
That my past world remained only in grains of memories, I had a big hole in my not so good memory and I forgot many people, but those whom I listened to read, constantly communicated, they remained with me .... and probably will be like painted pictures in a cold world where a single flame smolders...
So I want the small letters to preserve what I felt in the past and let this letter be a secret never revealed to me ...
With respect to myself...
Irina Tall (Novikova) is an artist, graphic artist, illustrator. She graduated from the State Academy of Slavic Cultures with a degree in art, and also has a bachelor's degree in design. The first personal exhibition "My soul is like a wild hawk" (2002) was held in the museum of Maxim Bagdanovich. In her works, she raises themes of ecology, in 2005 she devoted a series of works to the Chernobyl disaster, draws on anti-war topics. The first big series she drew was The Red Book, dedicated to rare and endangered species of animals and birds. Writes fairy tales and poems, illustrates short stories. She draws various fantastic creatures: unicorns, animals with human faces, she especially likes the image of a man - a bird - Siren.
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